


Heroes, Villains, and the Inbetweens

by adorkable99



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Team as Family, rebuilding SHIELD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-04-13 19:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorkable99/pseuds/adorkable99
Summary: SHIELD has fallen, is falling, is rising again.Steve Rogers is just trying to find solid ground again.SHIELD is trying to fly again.Everyone's got their demons, maybe it's time to face them.*A series where everyone on Coulson's team drives Steve insane, but they may be just what he needs to believe again*





	1. It Starts With Skye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye throws the gauntlet down.

Skye had envisioned meeting Captain America many times. Back when she was a superhero groupie/hacker living in her van she had spent a lot of nights imagining what it would be like to meet one of the Avengers. Not once though, did she imagine it sucking quite this much.

Nor did she imagine that Captain America would be a dick.

Yet here they were, all crowded in one room of the playground as Captain America shouted at Coulson. The rest of the team was standing back, obviously not keen to get in the way of the Captain’s wrath, and the good captain’s buddy remained a step behind him, an unreadable expression on his face.  
Skye focused back on the conversation, only to find that they were still on the same point.  
Steve Rogers continued to rant about S.H.I.E.L.D, “That was the deal with Fury. I’d help defeat Hydra, but S.H.I.E.L.D would go down, AND STAY DOWN.”  
Skye wished Fury were here. Not so that he could explain the situation to Rogers, but so that she could hit him for not giving the team the “by the way Captain America will hate you now” memo. 

Thanks a lot, Nick.

“-and another thing” Steve continued “is faking your death a S.H.I.E.L.D tradition now? Because I would LOVE to hear about that one?”  
The sarcasm was undeniable, and did not endear the Captain to Skye, especially after catching sight of Coulson’s face. It was blank of course, but Skye had learned by now that a blank face meant Coulson was displeased, upset, in pain, or all of the above.  
As she was contemplating all of this Skye heard a voice interrupt Captain America’s rant yelling, “Will you shut the fuck up?!?!?”

Wait.

Full break.

That was her. She was the one who yelled.  
Oh shit, she yelled at Captain America.  
Skye took in the surprised look on her teammates faces as the Captain responded, “excuse me?”  
But Skye wasn’t done. In for a penny, in for a pound and all that. If she was going to be murdered by Captain America today, she was damn well going to earn it. Or something.  
“We didn’t know, okay? Fury comes out of nowhere, saves our asses, and appoints Coulson director. We didn’t know he had spoken to you at all, let alone that you guys had a deal. So shut up or go find him if you’ve got a problem. And as far as not dying? Coulson was dead. FOR DAYS. It’s his story to tell, but it isn’t pretty at all, so have a little respect solider. And I swear, if you even try to make Coulson feel guilty for fucking dying or not being dead or whatever, super solider or not I WILL find a way to end you!”  
“Did she just threaten Captain America?” Fitz asked in the following silence.  
Skye was panting slightly by the time she finished yelling. Finished yelling at Captain America. Oh god, Fitz and Simmons looked like they were planning her funeral already, Mack and Bobbi were wearing matching surprised faces, Hunter and Trip were looking smug, May was…smiling oh god. And Coulson, well it looked like Skye might have finally managed to break Coulson, oops.  
Captain America seemed to be speechless still, so his previously silent buddy stepped up and spoke, “It seems we’ve got our wires crossed, could we maybe compare notes or something, because boy am I confused.”  
Coulson moved then, thank god. He addressed the room, “Yeah that seems like a good idea. Why don’t you two follow me, Simmons if you could compose our notes on Centipede and the alien drug?”  
As everyone began moving Skye remained where she was, still unsure if she hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of her life.  
Then May approached, a small smile on her face as she said “You did well Skye” and with a nod she moved to follow Coulson.  
Well then.


	2. Steve Questions Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip brings up the past in relation to the future.

Steve sighed as he looked around the base of new S.H.I.E.L.D. He wasn’t sure how things ended up like this, how they ended up this screwed up. He had come knocking with the goal of disbanding this sorry excuse of an agency and going on his merry way. He expected to be far from here by now, maybe searching for Bucky. Instead he was wondering the halls of this underground fortress gaining the glares of all those he passed. When did doing the right thing start to feel so wrong? Was he even doing the right thing? Coulson had recommended he speak with each member of his team, he supposed he ought to start.

Focusing on the people around him Steve spotted Sam exiting the gym with Agent Triplett. He decided to start with the only member of Coulson’s elite team who had been openly welcoming to Steve and Sam.  
“Hey, uh Agent Triplett” he called out, hesitating slightly.  
“What’s up Captain?” the man responded with an easy grin.  
“Just Steve, please, and I was hoping we could talk?”  
Steve rubs the back of his head nervously as Trip stares at him, a long searching look. Sam has long disappeared from the scene. It pains him, that here in this new S.H.I.E.L.D he is evaluated as a potential enemy. A tenuous ally perhaps to some, but always a potential threat. He lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding when Trip nods at him and enters a room off to the side. 

Steve follows. It’s silent for a moment, before he tentatively starts, “Agent Triplett…”  
“Trip”  
“What?”  
“If you’re going to be sticking around, you should know I go by Trip.”  
“Trip then” he agrees with a nod, “I was wondering…” and here Steve stops. What was he wondering? What did he hope this man would tell him? What absolution was he seeking?  
Trip smiled at his hesitation, a sharp bitter smile, with maybe a little bit of pity around the edges. Even as a friendly, he wasn’t going to make this easy on Steve.

“Can I tell you a story Steve? One not many know?”  
Taken aback by the direction of conversation, Steve nodded again. He was doing that a lot lately it seemed.  
“I know all about you Captain Rogers. Steve. I grew up hearing all these amazing stories, not just about the Captain, that Star Spangled Man with a Plan, but of Steve Rogers too. Heard about how a skinny boy from Brooklyn took on the whole world. I guess that’s to be expected though, considering my grandpa was a Howling Commando.” He laughed at the shocked expression on Steve’s face, before continuing, “Yeah man. Gabe Jones, Howling Commando, Husband, Father, and one helluva grandpa if I do say so myself.”  
“You’re Gabe’s grandson? Gabe got married??”  
Trip laughed his first real laugh at that one. Smiling truly now at the good Captain, he nodded in the affirmative. Before Steve could continue with his questions about his fallen friend. Trip continued with his story, any trace of a smile gone from his face, “Between him and Peggy, I heard a lot about you man. Heard a lot about S.H.E.I.L.D too. Used to joke that it was Peggy’s baby, just as much as the one’s she gave birth to. They got a big kick out of it too, used to make “Big Brother” jokes all the time, drove Peg up the wall.” 

He was quiet for a moment then, looking at a past Steve couldn’t see, though he ached, positively ached to call it his own. He came here to disband S.H.E.I.L.D and call it a day, instead he was sitting next to one more of his ghosts. He was sitting here listening to this man talk about a Peggy Steve never got to know, and that hurt. He could picture her passion for her agency of course, that part was easy. It was harder to fill in the friends and family that surrounded her. Harder to hear the jokes told that made her eyes twinkle with exasperated mischief. Harder still to imagine her having children, especially when they didn’t share a part of his DNA, as he had so foolishly hoped once upon a time. He was brought out of his depressing musings when Trip spoke up again,  
“Now I loved my grandad. But Peggy? I thought she hung the very moon herself. She was so strong and sure but also soft and kind. There was never any doubt that I’d follow in her footsteps. I’d been following after her like a lost duckling most my life anyway. She built this organization, you know that already, I’m sure. But did you ever really consider what that meant? She was a single working woman in a world that didn’t like any single one of those things, and she stood by my black grandad too. Even less people liked that. So while she poured her blood, sweat, and tears into building S.H.I.E.L.D everyone else was trying to tear her down. But Peggy? She wasn’t gonna let anyone take her down without one helluva fight. And she won. Or we thought she did. But that doesn’t matter Captain. What S.H.I.E.L.D was. What Hydra did to it? Those things don’t mean squat to me. You wanna know why, Captain?”  
Steve met Trips gaze unflinchingly. He knew what S.H.I.E.L.D meant to Peggy. What she wanted from it. That didn’t change his opinion of what it really was. “Yeah,” he responded softly, “I do.”  
Eyes still locked, Trip answered, “Because all I care about is what we’re gonna do with it now. Make mistakes. Know more. Do better. That’s all I got to give, Captain, but you can bet I’m gonna give it. All we have is the here and now and this tiny shadow organization, these people in it, they’re everything Peggy wanted when she started out, and just like her I’m not going to let anyone stop me. So you better decide Captain, are you one of us, or are you trying to tear us down? Because the Steve Rogers I heard about? He’d be one of us, through and through, but I guess that was a lifetime ago. So, I gotta warn you man, I learned how to rise above it all from the best, and I have no intention of failing her or her baby now.”

They were quiet for a moment. Steve wasn’t sure what to say in the face of such conviction, other than to offer another platitude that he wasn’t the bad guy here goddamn it, but he knew that wouldn’t go over well. Instead he simply offered his hand to Trip, and as they shook on it, he offered the man, “Thank you, Trip. You’ve given me a lot of think about.”

As he reached the door, Trip called out to him, he turned to see he had that trademark easy grin on his face again (and how could he have ever missed the connection? That smile was Gabe Jones alive again).  
“A word of advice” Trip offered “save Skye for last.”  
He said no more, and Steve left.


	3. Fitz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz remembers there are different ways to fight.

Steve wasn’t sure what to do with his conversation with Trip or his parting advice. He knew Skye was the name of the girl who had yelled at him when he had first arrived, he knew Coulson had a soft spot for the girl as well, but he hadn’t seen her since that first day anyway, so what did it matter. He put it from his mind for now, and continued to wander around the Playground like an unwanted ghost. 

His next conversation with one of Coulson’s favorites came completely by surprise, and it was not Steve who initiated it. He had gone to the lab to thank Fitz for his creations, as they had saved his life when the world had gone to hell. He ended up sitting in silence with the young scientist.  
“I’m…I’m not very, not good at talking. Not anymore, not…not since Ward” Fitz began, “but I want to watch…no….I want to show, yes, uh, I want to show you something?”  
“Okay” Steve replied easily, a grin on his face. He wanted to show the scientist that he was okay with his speech, that he’d wait for him to get it right, or help him, but he didn’t know how to say all that without making it sound like pity. He didn’t know if Fitz wanted to hear that, not from him.  
He had thought Fitz would show him something he’d been working on in the lab and was therefore surprised when the man led him out of the lab and down to the hanger.  
“Fitz? What are we doing here?”  
“Over…it’s over here Captain.”  
Steve moved with him, and found himself facing a…wall. It was a wall of names, a long list of names engraved in a monument on the hanger wall. The top of the wall was simply labelled “Remembrance” with a short poem underneath, proclaiming:  
_Down, down, down, into the darkness of the grave_  
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;  
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.  
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned. 

He reached out to touch the monument, his head turned towards Fitz, his mouth forming the question, but Fitz beat him to the answer.

“It’s a monument, for the, for all the lost…dead S.H.I.E.L.D agents. The ones who, who died…when you, when the Triskelion fell.” His voice grew quieter here, “and the ones who. The one’s who were, stuck. No. The one’s who were abandoned. The one’s Hydra found, or, or the, the people no one wanted to help, because they were, they were S.H.I.E.LD weren’t they?”  
Steve turned back to the monument, studied the names on them, trying to imprint them on his memory. He wasn’t sure if it was Fitz intent or the workings of his own troubled mind, but Steve heard recrimination in his words. The underlying feeling that these deaths were all his fault. He had blown these agents lives apart and left the fallout behind him. Hadn’t he?  
“You made this?” he asked Fitz.  
The scientist shook his head. “Skye. She did it. It…took her weeks. Had to find all, find all the names in the old, the old computer. Then find, find the people. Figure out if, figure out who they died as. Hydra or Shield? She, rescued a few people too. Then made this. Put it here.”

There was that girl again, Skye. She seemed to be everywhere. Steve had the feeling he was missing something important about the girl, but before he could think on it longer Fitz continued speaking, “She said The Wall of Valor was, well it was a right thing that old Shield did. No. A good thing. It was a good thing. Wanted to remember.”  
“But why put it here?” Steve questioned. It seemed odd to him to have a memorial in an out of the way part of the hanger. Shouldn’t it be on display somewhere prominent? Where they saw it everyday?  
“So it’s the last, the last thing we see. When we leave for missions. And the first one when we get here. Come back. T o remember why we go. To have a reason I guess. And to be greeted by old friends.”

It was quiet for a moment as Fitz struggled to find the words he needed. Eventually, he spoke, “I have brain damage” after seeing the surprised look on Steve’s face he elaborated, “I know you were wondering. People always wonder why I can’t, just why I can’t. It’s Hydra’s fault. When I first woke up I couldn’t speak. Not at all. My hands didn’t, didn’t…broken. I was broken. I lost, I lost everything that made me, me.”  
He paused then, and Steve opened his mouth to…he didn’t know what he was going to do. What could he say? Instead he settled a hand on Fitz shoulder. The young man smiled briefly at him, and continued on with his story, “I came here a lot, when Skye first, when she first made it. I felt like I, like I should have. It felt like my name should be on there too. I was…I was angry. These people, they lost their lives and they can’t, they’re never going to come back. I’m never going to come back either, I’m, I’ll always have brain damage. But I’m alive.”  
Steve looked at him then, “So what? You’re still here for them? To make their deaths meaningful. To make your accident meaningful? For revenge?”  
“What? No. No. That’s…that’s no it at all.” Steve’s observation had angered the Scot. He was finding it harder to find words, his hands shook with agitation. He took a few deep breathes and paced a bit away from Steve.

“I, I created, made things. I thought they, I thought good things. I was doing good things. Saving people. But Hydra. Hydra used my creations to kill…to hurt people. I did that. I live with that. I may never be…never be better enough to make more, make new…to fight Hydra. I can’t undo. Can’t go back.”  
“So why are you here” Steve questioned.  
He glanced at the wall again, before looking away, out over the hanger. His voice was quiet but surprisingly clear when he spoke again, “because I am not resigned.”  
He offered Steve no more insight, no more words. Fitz simply limped away from him, headed, probably back to his lab.

Steve found himself with even more to think about now, and while his thoughts were no clearer he found that he had a new respect for the young scientist, and maybe a blossoming respect for this new agency. He still wasn’t sure it was the right thing, but he was no longer convinced he was doing the right thing either. He sighed and with one last look at the wall, he walked off to find Sam.


	4. Jemma Questions Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma sets Steve straight.

A few days had past since Steve’s impromptu conversation with Fitz. He found himself returning often to the hanger bay to stare at the Wall of Remembrance. He also noticed he was not the only one. Steve had spotted various agents in front of the wall; Coulson liked to pace in front of it when the weight of his title was too heavy on his shoulders, Agent May stood tall and silent in front of it many mornings, and the mysterious agent Skye was often spotted sitting cross-legged in front of it, the clicking of her computer echoing in the night. Steve was contemplating what this meant in the rec room when he was interrupted. 

“Captain Rogers?”  
He looked up to find the other scientist, Simmons, he thought her name was, staring at him from across the room.  
“Yes ma’am?”  
“I was wondering if we might talk? Just for a moment?”  
“Of course, ma’am. What did you want to talk about?”  
“Simmons, please, and I’m sure you know.” He nodded his acceptance of her name and smiled ruefully in acknowledgement of the conversation topic.  
“Why exactly are you here Captain?”  
Steve started slightly. Looking at her with wide eyes. No, actually, he hadn’t known this would be the center of the discussion. He expected another story, like what he shared with Trip and Fitz. However, taking in the sharp knowledgeable eyes staring directly into his own, Steve supposed he should have known better. However, he couldn’t seem to form an answer. What was he doing here? He didn’t really know anymore. 

As he continued to stare blankly at Simmons, she grew impatient, “well?” she questioned him.  
“I’m…looking for answers I suppose.” He hesitantly told her.  
“Hmph” she didn’t seem very impressed with his answer.  
“May I ask, Dr. Simmons, what level agent you were before SHEILD fell?”  
“I was a level 5 agent. Why do you ask?”  
“Well, ma’am, I know level 5 agents, especially scientists, weren’t told a lot about what went on in SHEILD. Is it possible that maybe you just…missed a lot of the corruption. That you’re still seeing the good and not the bad?”  
Before he had even finished the sentence Steve regretted saying it. With every word he spoke, the tiny polite scientist seemed to swell with rage. Steve was vividly reminded of that time, long ago, when Peggy had shot at him. Before he could issue an apology, Simmons spoke.

“A man I trusted with my life, betrayed us. He hurt people that I care about in ways they may never recover from, and he isn’t the only one. You think I’m naïve, Captain? That I don’t know? I loved a Hydra operative. Loved him like a brother. And now I hate him, and I miss him. I miss the man I thought I knew, and then I catch a glimpse of Fitz shaking hands, or Skye’s tired eyes, or May’s angry fists pounding a punching bag, and I wish I could kill that bastard. I’ve known Hydra. I’ve pretended to be Hydra. I’ve fought Hydra. And all those times, at least half the faces staring back at me, twisted in ugly, ugly, hate were faces I once was happy to see. People I once trusted my life and my life’s work to. People I once trusted Fitz to. And you have the audacity to tell me I don’t see? I see the damage everywhere. And I know it wasn’t just the bad guys that caused it. God, I bloody well know what we’ve done Captain! So, don’t you dare.”  
Steve could only blink in astonishment. He never expected the tiny quiet British doctor to say, no, yell all that. One hand cocked on her hip, the other pointing a long delicate finger at his chest. Finally, he stuttered out an apology. 

She deflated a little at that, but didn’t say anything else. Before he could speak again, Skye poked her head in the door calling for Simmons, “hey, I’ve been looking all over for you. Fitz needs help and apparently only your hands will work to his standards.” Skye let out a fond eye roll at that.  
Yes, of course. I’ll be right there Skye.” Skye seemed to realize she had walked in on something. As her gaze darted from Steve to Simmons and back again she let out an awkward “ooo-kay” and disappeared.  
Simmons straightened her already impeccable shirt, let out a deep breath, and faced the Captain again.

“I ask again Captain, why are you here?”

And then she was gone.


	5. A Huntingbird Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbi and Hunter throw Steve off balance.

After tossing and turning for hours, Steve decided sleep just wasn’t for him. He wandered into the kitchen area, looking for a warm drink. It would seem he wasn’t alone in his late night wanderings, as the kitchen was already occupied.

“Captain” the blonde nodded at him.

“Hi, sorry I forgot your name” he admitted sheepishly.

“Bobbi. Bobbi Morse, there’s water for tea, should still be warm.”

“ Hi Bobbi, and thank you.”

They sat in silence. enjoying their drinks. Steve could tell that Bobbi had something on her mind though, as she kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. Having learned his lesson about making assumptions with the two resident scientists, Steve kept quiet waiting for her to speak.

Finally.

“Have you heard from Hawkeye?”

Steve nearly dropped his mug. he was so startled by the question. “Hawkeye?” he repeated dumbly.

“Yes, Hawkeye, Clint Barton.”

“Um yes. Well not directly.”

“He’s okay then” she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Er...yes? You know him?”

“You could say that. He’s my ex-husband.”

Steve sprayed tea out of his nose “Hawkeye was married? He’s your ex-husband?”

“Talking about me?” chimed a voice from the door.

“No, we were talking about my other ex-husband” Bobbi answered Lance.

“Ah, the test run. Poor chap.”

“Everyone knows the sequel never compares to the original Hunter.”

As Bobbi and Hunter started one of their bickering matches, Steve just stared at them, slightly flabbergasted. It was only when Bobbi had Hunter in a headlock, while Hunter singsonged something about “birds of a feather” that he finally interjected.

“Um, should I leave?”

“Yes”

“No”

“Bobbi”

“Hunter”

“Awe, come on Babs. Why were you even asking about Hawkass anyway?”

“Forgive me for being a decent human being Hunter. I just wanted to make sure he was okay after everything.”

“Why didn’t you just ask Skye? She cleaned up after the data dump, shouldn’t she know?”

“And listen to her gush about me knowing an avenger, no thanks. I’d rather marry you again.”

“Ouch that hurt, anyway Captain, did you need something?”

Steve was staring at him again. Just what type of team was Coulson assembling here? How did these two get anything done with all that arguing. They were both staring at him though so he said, “ummm...you two don’t act much like SHIELD agents.” 

“That’s a statement not a question” Hunter teased, earning a smack to the back of the head from Bobbi.

“I guess I’m asking for your impressions on SHIELD, before and after the whole Hydra business?”

“Well that’s easy enough for me. I wasn’t a part of old SHIELD. Coulson recruited me and a few friends into new SHIELD and I ended up staying. He’s a hard man to say no to. He has that whole mild-mannered but piercing stare thing down. Anyway, old SHIELD is a large contributing factor in why I am divorced, so no love lost there” Hunter explained, before turning to hear Bobbi’s answer.

“I wish I had some profound answer to give you, Captain Rogers, but I really don’t. There’s work to be done, and this is where I feel most comfortable doing it. Not everything has to have some big cosmic meaning. Though I did almost walk out when Coulson said I’d be working with Hunter. It’s like Hunter said. Coulson has that persuasive ‘don’t disappoint me’ character. “ There was a pause before Bobbi continued, “Look, I know you’re asking us all these questions to determine our merit, and I kind of get that. I had a lot of questions too, but I’m not sure you have the authority you think you have here. Anyway, thanks for telling me about Clint. Good night.”

With that, Bobbi grabbed the back of Hunter’s shirt, pulling him out of the room with her. As with every encounter Steve had had with Coulson’s favorites thus far, he was left with more questions than answers. What was he doing?


	6. A Mack-Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack offers both truth and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It should be noted that i messed with the time-line here. Skye has her powers but Trip didn't die. The team has moved into the accepting and loving Skye as she is, and the Afterlife thing hasn't happened yet. Her dad is still out there, being crazy, killing people, the usual.

“So I hear you’ve officially been exposed to Bobbi and Hunter. The support group meets every Tuesday” joked a voice behind Steve. He was sitting on a couch in what appeared to be a rec room trying to gather his thoughts. He turned to see a giant of a man leaning on the door frame.

“Mack, right? Yeah I met them last night. They sure are...something: Steve replied carefully. 

“Yeah, the bickering can drive you crazy, but still, we wouldn’t have them any other way. Anyway, how bout a game? You look like you could use a break” Mack replied easily, gesturing to the tv. 

“Uh, I’ve actually never played before” Steve admitted.

“Oh man, we have gotta fix that. You don’t want Lance or Skye to know you’re a gaming newbie. They are mercilessly competitive. Coulson actually had to ban Mario Kart. Keeps it locked up in his office now” Mack laughed while handing Steve a controller. 

Mack walked Steve through the game, and he found it was actually quite enjoyable. Half-way through their second game, Mack offered “you can ask me questions, you know like you have the others, I don’t mind.”

“I thought I was taking a break”

“What, the great Captain America can’t multitask?”

“Fair point, okay. First question. You all seem to mention that girl, Skye. Is there something I’m missing about her?”

“Well, I can’t say that was the question I was expecting. I think that’s more a question for Skye to answer, but I will say I don’t think it's SHIELD Skye believes in. She follows Coulson.” “Interesting. She seemed a big SHIELD supporter when we met.”

“Well you did insult Coulson a bit. Seriously, you should talk to her about SHIELD, I think she might have a lot to say that you need to hear.”

“Trip told me to save her for last. Which is pretty easy considering I’ve barely seen her in the three weeks I’ve been here.”

“Yeah, she’s working on some new project. She barely takes time to eat let alone socialize.”

“I see” said Steve, before groaning as Mack once again beat him.

“Hey, you’re getting better at this” Mack commiserated “that one was a close one”. 

“Lets go again” Steve suggested “and you can add your opinion on the subject of SHIELD”. 

“Now that’s more like what I was expecting” Mack responded. “Look, I understand where you’re coming from. When SHIELD fell, well outrage doesn’t quite cover it. And when I found out Fury handed the job over to Coulson, I was skeptical. It was a bit of a ‘here we go with the same old bullshit’ scenario in my mind. How could SHIELD be better, or different, if Fury’s right hand was the one taking over.”

“That was my thought process as well.”

“So Bobbi and I were pretty skeptical. Hung around at first to get a lay of the land. We considered joining up with a few other former agents to oust Coulson. Ultimately we decided against it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Lots of reasons I guess. Coulson made a call Fury wouldn’t have. May went back for an agent when old SHIELD would have abandoned them. Skye disagreed with a decision and Coulson heard her out, agreed, and changed the plan. Fitz wasn’t shoved aside after his injury. The rulebook changed, and I like what it says now. That kind of stuff. It was easy to see this was a brand new organization.”

“I see” Steve commented “Maybe i judged a little hastily, but how do you know those changes will hold. It sounds like original SHIELD started out this way too.”

“Well I’m not sure anyone can guarantee our success here” Mack mused “but we did find a bunch of Peggy Carter’s plans and policies for the start of SHIELD when we moved in here and we’ve used a lot of those.”

“WHAT”


	7. The Sam and Steve Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Sam go through old files, muse on old memories, and prepare for a new future.

Sam and Steve were gathered in the Rec Room, going through boxes of old files, relating to the beginning of SHIELD and the end of WW2. Looking at the documents caused a jolt to go through Steve, seeing Peggy’s precise handwriting mapping out tactics and administrative functions. He was caught up once again in “what ifs” and “could have beens” and was therefore startled when Sam let out a low whistle. He jumped a bit before looking at his friend questioningly.

 

“I have to admit Steve, Director Carter had a knack for this. Some of these plans are just straight up genius, man”

 

“She always was too smart for the rest of us. So what do you think? Can SHIELD pull it off following all this?”

 

“I don’t know man, but it definitely is a good place to start,” Sam looked closer at Steve before adding “how are you doing with all of this?”

 

“I...I’m not really sure” Steve started “I thought I was adjusting well, you know? I had my list, my job with SHIELD, Natasha teased me about starting to date. It was like I started to have a life here instead of just a past. But then...well then SHIELD fell and everything with Bucky and it’s just….”

 

He trailed off helplessly, prompting Sam to add “It’s just what, Steve?”

 

Steve looks at Same intently “Did I really have a life here Sam. Do I have a future, or am I always going to be living in the past? I feel like everytime I find solid ground, someone sets off another earthquake.”

 

“Thats a tough one man” Sam starts “but you’re not alone in feeling it. A lot of soldiers feel like they never come back from war. It prompts a lot of discussion about the difference between surviving and living. Do you have any plans for the future?”

 

Steve paused, before stating, “work as an Avenger I guess. Find Bucky,”

 

“Okay, that's a place to start. But the world doesn’t end up in Avengers related situations everyday and eventually we will find Bucky, so what do you do then? Art? Police Officer? Smithsonian Exhibit? “

 

“You stole that joke from Natasha, and it wasn’t funny then”

 

“Sure it wasn’t. But in all seriousness have you thought about what you want to do?”

 

“No, no I really haven’t”

 

“Well you don’t have to decide right now, but it’s something to think about” Sam went back to flipping through files, giving Steve a minute before adding, “You know, these files are good, but the world changed a lot recently. How do you think Director Carter would have responded to aliens falling out of the sky?”

 

Steve smiled fondly, “I don’t think even aliens could shake Peggy’s calm. She would just get to work like it was any other day.”

 

“Sounds like someone else I know” Sam mused.

 

“Yeah maybe” Steve replied, after a pause he continued, “how much of these files do you think made it into the new plans? As good as they are they’re kind of outdated.”

 

“I can answer that” spoke a voice from the door. Steve and Sam turned to find a small Asian woman standing there.

 

“Agent Melinda May,” she answered the unasked question, before tossing a book at Steve. He caught it with ease and she continued, “read that, then find me. It’s my turn.” She walked away before he could answer.

 

Sam let out a low whistle, “that is one terrifying woman.”

 

Steve didn’t disagree. He turned his attention to the book in his hands, a manual for S.H.I.E.L.D, the new S.H.I.E.L.D. “I guess we better start reading.”

 

“We?” Sam questioned “She didn’t throw it at both of us, man.”

 

Steve looked at Sam with mock betrayal “so this is the day loyalty dies” he mused dramatically.

 

Sam laughed, “man, you are pathetic at that. Cross actor off the list of potential living ideas. Alright, let’s start this thing. Where you go, I go, right?” 

 

“Thanks Sam, and just so you know, I do appreciate having you here.”

 

“I know, Steve, no worries. Happy to be here.”

 

“Let’s do this then.”

 


End file.
